This is a question I get all the time — especially from first-time buyers:

“Jen, should I stretch to buy my first house?”

If you’re new here, welcome. I’m a mortgage lender licensed in all 50 states, and my team is one of the top purchase teams in the country. I’ve been doing this for a long time, and my business has always been centered on buyers.

I talk to buyers every single day. I ask a lot of questions. I look at real paystubs, real budgets, real-life situations. And based on everything I’ve seen over the years — the math, the stress, the things people don’t think about — my answer is usually:

No. I don’t think you should stretch.

Let me explain why.

Why People Tell You to “Stretch”

First, let’s talk about where this advice usually comes from.

Parents

Sometimes it’s parents saying,
“You should stretch — I’ll help you if you get stuck.”

I know this comes from a good place. But here’s the reality:

• How much help can they really guarantee?

• For how long?

• And does that help put their retirement at risk?

Best intentions don’t always equal sustainable plans.

Real Estate Agents

This is the one people love to criticize, so let me be very clear:

Most agents are not greedy.
They usually want you to be happy in the home.

Their logic is often:

• “If you’re stuck here longer than planned, you’ll be happier in the nicer house.”

• “If it’s just $10–15k more for an extra bedroom, maybe it’s worth stretching.”

And sometimes, that logic makes sense — if the math works.

But here’s the thing…

No House Is Worth Being House Poor

I say this all the time because it’s true:

No house is worth being house poor.

Being house poor isn’t just inconvenient. It creates:

• Constant stress

• Anxiety around money

• Strain on relationships

• Health issues

• Career pressure

I lived it myself years ago.
I still remember what that stress felt like — and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

When Emotions Take Over, Go Back to the Math

Buying a home is emotional. That’s normal.

But the moment emotions creep in, it’s time to pull out a calculator and look at the numbers, not the dream.

Here’s what I want you to think through before you stretch.

1. Look at Your Net Pay — Not Gross

Lenders qualify you based on gross income.

We do not account for:

• State income taxes

• Local taxes

• How expensive it is to live where you are

That matters — a lot.

A buyer in Florida and one in New Jersey can have the same salary but wildly different take-home pay.

If you’re thinking about stretching:

• Compare your net pay to the proposed mortgage payment

• Do a real monthly budget

If you don’t want to do that?
Do not stretch.

2. Assume Taxes and Insurance Will Go Up

Because right now, in most states, they are.

• Homeowners insurance is rising — sometimes dramatically.

• Property taxes vary wildly by county

• HOAs always go up (just accept that now)

If you’re already maxed out, and something increases 20–40%?
You’re in trouble.

What feels like a stretch today can turn into a financial crisis later if you’re not accounting for this.

3. Don’t Assume Your Income Will Increase

This one drives me a little crazy.

I hear:
“I’m young — I’ll make more money.”

Not necessarily.

Income growth depends on:

• Your industry

• Your role

• Economic conditions

Bonuses disappear. Overtime gets cut. Recessions happen.

If qualifying for a home depends on:

• A future raise

• A bonus

• Overtime income that could vanish

Do not buy that house.

I’ve seen this story play out too many times — including in my own life.

4. Think About Family Planning and Life Costs

This part is uncomfortable — but it matters.

If you plan to have children:

• Childcare can easily run $1,200–$1,500+ per month per child

• In many cases, one income effectively disappears

If you buy a house that requires every dollar you earn:
That house becomes your baby.

And that’s not the life most people want.

The same applies to:

• Healthcare costs

• Aging parents

• Pets with ongoing medical needs

• Anything expensive that’s likely in your future

So… Should You Ever Stretch?

Here’s the distinction that matters:

Stretching is NOT the same as being uncomfortable.

Buying a home is always a little scary.

Stretching is when:

• You’re already nervous

• You’re already at a high debt-to-income

• You’re relying on future income

• You’re ignoring taxes, insurance, or life changes

That’s when I say no.

If you’ve:

• Looked at your net pay

• Budgeted honestly

• Accounted for rising costs

• Planned for the future

And you can afford it comfortably — even if you wish the payment were lower — that’s different.

Final Advice

If you’re a first-time buyer, my advice is simple:

• Don’t max qualify

• Don’t rely on future raises

• Don’t ignore life costs

• Don’t let pressure override math

And if you want help planning — whether you’re buying now or five years from now — that’s what we do.

Ready to Talk It Through?

If you have questions or want help building a real plan:

Call the team: 786-933-2077

Book a free planning call: (link to calendar)

You’ll talk to a real person — myself, Sandy, Linda, Alyssa — and it’s always free.

We’re here to help you make a decision that works for your life, not just a loan approval.